जोड़ी सलामत रहे is the phrase to learn if you learn only one. जोड़ी means the pair, and सलामत means safe or intact — it wishes the couple continuity rather than happiness, which is precisely the Indian emphasis. It is said constantly at weddings and works from anyone to anyone.

Congratulating the parents is not optional — an Indian wedding is a family achievement and the parents have usually organised and paid for a great deal of it. आपको भी बधाई directed at a mother or father lands better than anything you say to the couple. Complimenting the arrangements or the food is equally welcome.

Cash gifts go in a लिफ़ाफ़ा with a short line written on the front, usually शुभ विवाह or simply बधाई हो, followed by your name. Remember the amount convention: end the figure in one, so 501, 1100 or 2100. A round number is considered slightly inauspicious.

The direction of the greeting matters, exactly as it does with birthdays. Blessings flow downward in age, so an elder tells the couple ख़ुश रहो or दूधो नहाओ पूतो फलो, a traditional blessing wishing prosperity and children. A younger guest says बधाई or शुभकामनाएँ instead.

That older blessing is worth recognising even though you should not use it. It is still said by grandmothers, though younger Indians increasingly find its emphasis on sons outdated, and plenty of families have quietly dropped it.

One further convention: at a wedding you greet the elders present before the couple if you encounter them first. Going straight to the couple past a row of seated relatives is noticed.

Expect also to be photographed a great deal. Indian weddings run on formal group photographs with the couple on stage, and guests queue to be included one family at a time. Being pulled into a photograph you had not planned on is normal, and declining is possible but slightly awkward. If you are handed a garland or asked to stand beside the couple, the correct response is simply to go along with it.

शादी has a clean sh and a dental d. जोड़ी contains the flapped ड़ — ‘jo-ṛee’. सलामत is three even beats. विवाह ends on a soft, almost swallowed h. लिफ़ाफ़ा carries two nukta f sounds. And बधाई has an aspirated dh in the middle with a long ee at the end.

• Congratulating only the couple and ignoring both sets of parents.
• Giving a round cash amount instead of one ending in one.
• Using an elder’s blessing such as दूधो नहाओ if you are younger than the couple.
• Writing only in English on the envelope when a Hindi line is easy and appreciated.
• Walking past seated elders to reach the couple first.

1. Write a two-line wedding card message in Hindi.
2. Practise congratulating the couple and then the bride’s father.
3. Work out three appropriate cash amounts and write the envelope line.
4. Say जोड़ी सलामत रहे until the flapped ड़ is clean.
5. Compliment the arrangements and the food in Hindi.